Accountability…
When I resigned from being the connections pastor at my previous church, one of the ministries that I worked with was helping men overcome addiction to pornography. After leaving, I found that the built in accountability I had there faded away. Tonight, I am meeting with a man who would like to start a new group at NewSpring on their Greenville campus. We aren’t meeting to plan a new group. We are meeting to be accountability partners for each other. If something bigger comes of this, I will be thrilled. More importantly, it encourages me to remind others that accountability is VERY important in the ministry, and even for those of us who are no longer “in the ministry”.
Church Board?
Filed under: Random Thoughts, accountability, leadership, structure
The church board can be a scary thing, both for those involved and for the pastor of the church. Every non-profit in the United States has to have a board of some kind. They are a good idea in a church. Otherwise, what happens if the pastor does something horrible? I have an idea to present that might seem to fly in the face of the traditional church board idea…but here it is. How about if 1/2 or most of the board are not people who are members of the church? Before you label me crazy, I am not talking about just picking guys off the street. What if the “church board” were made up of pastors of like minded churches in the area or even from around the country. This way, if there is a real problem, there is definite accountability for the pastor, but there will never be a lynch mob mentality that can occur if the pastor steps on the toes of a prominent member of the church in one of his sermons. Each of these pastor board members would go preach in each others churches from time to time so that the church membership would know who they are and also give them time to feel out the church and see where needs are. It seems to me that decisions could be made more objectively by people who are seeking God’s will for the church as a whole as well as the local body. This would prevent the situation of powerbrokering going on inside the church. Also, if the pastor should get into trouble, there is already a group of leaders there to help him get counseling and recovery. If you know of a church or your own church already uses a system like this, I welcome your feedback and comments!
Those Great Moments!
Filed under: Encouragement, Random Thoughts, Wonderment, accountability, healing, ministry, personal growth, praise, thanks, worship
Sometimes in ministry, it seems as if all is going great! GOD is working beside you and accomplishing great things through you! Those are the Great Moments! Those moments are when hundreds of people pack the altars asking God to forgive them and take over their lives! Those are the moments when you lay hands on a cripple or even a dead person and they get up and walk! Those moments when you are seated next to someone on the plane and before you touch down there is a new name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life! So what about the other times? Those moments when our spiritual walk with GOD seems stagnant? What about when we don’t even feel like reading God’s Word and even praying over meals seems like a forced exercise instead of time spent with our best friend? As is clear from my taking some months off from writing on this blog, I just went through a time where my passion for ministry if not even my passion for the Lord was in a very low place. The great thing I learned is that GOD is the same in both places! HE still walked beside me each day even when I didn’t pick up the Bible to start my morning. HE still wanted to spend time with me. That was incredible! So, enjoy those GREAT MOMENTS, but realize that GOD is the same even in the not so great moments.
Dealing with Confrontation
This morning, I dealt with a situation that is never fun…confrontation. I know that when I am confronted by others, I do my best to see their side of the situation and I think most who have had to take up an issue with me would say that it was relatively painless and when I am wrong, I have no trouble admitting it. This morning, it was I who had to do the confronting of someone else. I remembered why people often avoid confrontation. Tough day… The biblical model is to go to the person first, then take elders, then take them before the church…the problem is, this isn’t someone in my church. I tried the going to them first…now I am stuck. Not sure how to heal the rift that is now there. I know a lot of people who read this blog are prayer warriors…so when you are praying today, add me to your prayer list. I have had better days.
Pornography in the church…
Filed under: Encouragement, Pornography, accountability
Those who follow this blog know that one of the areas of ministry that I find challenging but very worthwhile is working with men to help them overcome pornography addiction. Many people seem to have the idea that these men are drunks who skulc around in back alleys and go spend their evenings in XXX theaters. The truth is, they are husbands, pastors, lay church leaders, students, professionals(In the normal sense of the word). They are men who are struggling to overcome an addiction that is just as tough to kick as drugs or alcohol. Someone asked me earlier today what I do for these guys? So here it is. They need two things. #1. Accountability! When trying to overcome an addiction especially one as personal as pornography or any sexual addiction, the first step is to have someone in your life who can ask you the tough questions. #2. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A couple days ago, I wrote on my blog about having missed my morning devotions. That is super critical for the addict! Days that start with God are days in which it is much easier to resist temptation. Days without God leave you fighting it on your own…which is how we got into trouble in the first place. When God is the center of your life, then overcoming any addiction is easier. Without Him in your life, it is nearly impossible. I have friends who have kicked Crack, Heroin, Cocaine and Alcohol addictions and they will tell you the same thing.
Hope this post helped someone out there. If you need help, feel free to contact me. And if you want to help others, the best thing you can do is be that accountability partner. For more info on being an accountability partner, check out a blog I wrote in July of last year. Also for accountability software and help sites check here.
Morning Devotions??
Filed under: Random Thoughts, accountability, personal growth, reading
This morning, I have a confession to make. I woke up late and just got to the office and I still haven’t had my time with God or read His word! It is VERY important to do so, and I know this! In Mark 1:35 we see that Jesus himself got up while it was still dark, went out to a solitary place and He prayed! If Jesus needed to pray to start His day, we mere mortals must do so as well. I promise to take a break and get my prayer time in. Thanks to all my readers for also being accountability partners!
Sin- Who is doing it?
Filed under: Body of Christ, Encouragement, Random Thoughts, accountability, community
I just got off the phone with my mother. We had a great talk about a topic I don’t hear many people talking about lately. The theme of our chat was “true repentance from sin”. In to many churches and thus to many church going people, there is a sense that all we have to do is ask Jesus into our heart and that is it. Our heaven ticket is in hand and off we go through life. Nothing has to change in who we are, or the way we act. Nothing could be farther from the truth! Jesus told us to repent and be baptized for the forgiveness of sins. (This post isn’t going to get into the whole whether baptism is part of the forgiveness of sins process or not.) He clearly tells us to repent! That means not only doing an about face away from our sin and turning towards Him, but also that we seek out new life in HIM! That will bring about a fundamental change in our being; in who we are! One young man I am friends with is a great example! Before Christ came into his life, he was a very hard person. Liked to fight, some might even say he was mean. Now, after God has gotten a hold of him 100%, he has softened noticeably. He weeps while he prays. (A man who never shed a tear before.) He is now a very giving person who shares the love of Jesus in word and deed with all who he comes in contact with. That kind of change should not be the exception! It is the rule with true repentance! When we not only ask to be forgiven for the sins we have committed, but ALSO turn 180 degrees away from that sin, then we can live the life of holiness that God intended for us to live.
Confessions of a Blogger/Pastor
Filed under: Body of Christ, Book Review, Direction, Encouragement, Fear, Pornography, Random Thoughts, Repentance, accountability, healing, leadership, personal growth, reading
I just finished reading Craig Groeschel’s book, Confessions of a Pastor. It surprised me in a good way! I expected it to be a decent book. I enjoy Craig’s teaching and the articles he has written that I have read. I must admit, it was the first book by him that I had picked up. I read it almost all the way through last night…finally about 3:30 in the morning, I decided that the book would still be there in the morning and I needed to get some sleep. It got me thinking, which is part of Craig’s motive for writing the book, that I am as guilty as he is about not taking off my mask and trying to let people see the new and improved me instead of letting them see the “real” me. As he “confessed to me” through the book, I found myself wanting to talk out loud to him saying, “I am right there with you!” I have been in church since the week after my parents conceived me, yet it wasn’t until November 28, 2003 that I finally broke down and gave myself 100% to God! Why did I wait so long? I had said a sinner’s prayer when I was three years old. Was it real? I thought it was, but was my life bearing fruit of someone sold out to God and crazy about reaching the world for Jesus Christ? I can answer that for those who didn’t know me…it wasn’t! I was a “convenient Christian”. What about now? Each day is a new struggle. I have previously blogged about having had a pornography addiction and leading the pornography addiction recovery group at church. So how do I admit that there are days when I just want to give up on almost 6 years being porn free? There, I admitted it. (Yes, I know that giving in would destroy my witness, it would cause problems in my marriage, it would end my ability to be an effective pastor and leader in the church, it would take away the credibility I have built with the guys who talk to me about their own addictions…) Yes, I know that stuff…and yet there are days when I don’t feel as close to God and don’t feel his love. I know HE is still there watching out for me. Yes, there are days when I wake up tired on Sunday morning and don’t want to go to church. (And the senior pastor is an incredible leader and speaker! I love the worship band! I just want to stay in bed.) Do you ever have those feelings? Comment away!
And if you are struggling with a pornography and/or sexual addiction, feel free to contact me privately. If you are a pastor, I really encourage you to do so! If you don’t want to talk to me, get an accountability partner! Very, very few men/or women can kick the habit alone without the help of a friend.
Is your church worth attending?
Filed under: Body of Christ, Direction, Encouragement, accountability, community, evangelism, ministry
This morning, I started reading Brad Powell’s Change Your Church For Good: The Art Of Sacred Cow Tipping. I hadn’t gotten very far when I came accross this quote: “multitudes of people are giving up on the whole idea of attending church. And, in their defense, many churches aren’t worth attending.” Now, the first part of that quote may very well be true and I am sure Mr. Barna has some research to back that one up. The second part of that quote bothers me. Not because it isn’t true, but that it is! How can the church, which is the bride of Christ, the holder of the best news ever in the history of the world, the sons and daughters of God…how can that church be not worth attending? I think the problem lies in that not all buildings with people meeting in them on Sunday morning are really churches in the previously mentioned sense. Some are just clubs that may sing some songs and listen to a somewhat morally positive speech for a while while those in attendance think of the roast in the crock pot or where they want to go for lunch. We as the church of Jesus Christ must get out of our comfort zones and share the Love of Jesus with our communities or we may all very well end up as “churches [that] aren’t worth attending.”
Change your attitude!
Filed under: Body of Christ, Encouragement, Random Thoughts, accountability, personal growth
Author, professor and pastor, Chuck Swindoll said,
Attitude, to me, is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do….The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regardign the attitude we embrace for that day….we cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way…The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…We are in charge of our attitudes.
Jesus told us to turn the other cheek and to love our enemies. We as believers should lead the world with our positive attitude. We have the joy of the LORD in us! Some of us forgot to let our faces and mouths know. When the Holy Spirit is dwelling in us, we will naturally produce the fruit of the Spirit…but that is only if we are staying grounded in our relationship with God. Preparing our attitude each day starts with spending time with our Lord and Savior. Sorry if you were hoping for a “Power of Positive Thinking” type note here, but if it really all depended on us, we would fail miserably. When the Holy Spirit is living in us and working through us, then attitude isn’t a problem.
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